"That's like sooooo gei!"

First off, I'd like to send a shout out to my Spanish bitches, PK and JD, keepin it real in Madrid (yeah, I know they're not actually Spanish); this post is for you, for better or for worse.

I spent a long day yesterday dealing with the nefarious machinations of Japanese intellectual bureaucracy, so I decided to meet Colleen and a few of her teacher type friends at Denny's for a little snacky-poo. The tonkatsu, btw, was delicious, except for the really fatty part. Denny's in Japan used to disturb me on a very deep level, but as with all American/Japanese hybrids, you come to understand that the defamiliarization of the normally comforting is something you just have to live with here (as Mike seems to have somehow realized); mashed potato sculptures often disturb me in much the same way.


Geisha are not called geisha because they give blowjobs in pretty costumes or because they can fiddle out a few notes on the shamisen. They are gei-sha (芸者), because they are practitioners (者) of a particular talent (芸), which just happens to involve giving blowjobs in pretty costumes but that alone does not consummate (giggle) their art. As it turns out this gei is very important to one's success as a face on Japanese television. Where the US has talking heads for opinion... errr, news programs, Japan has a vast stable of geinin (芸人) to fill up all those prescious TV timeslots they refuse to fritter away on things like news or sports. Some are genuinely entertaining (and sexay to boot!) while some leave you with a persistent perplexed look on your face.

Hard Gay (a.k.a. Laser [some say Razor] Ramon a.k.a. something else I don't recall) has lately made something of a name for himself amongst the geinin (the source of a bad pun the Japanese beat to death *giggle*). If this is your first introduction to the glories of Japanese television, I must remind you that we here at The Idiolects cannot be held responsible for any migraines, diarrhea, jock itch, or other ailments that may result from watching.

Oh, and I've decided whether or not to stay in Japan next year. News at 11.